The tea helps. It's something I brew myself. The last two new moons, that part of me hasn't come out, and believe me when I say I'm trying to find a way that doesn't involve me being locked up and strapped to a chair for twenty-four hours. It isn't pleasant.

But I have hurt people here, Bianca. Badly. I don't want to do that again, whatever it takes. I'm tired of waking up, covered in blood or worse.