It's going to be back to 'not easy to talk about' in a day or two, after I'm done apologizing to a few people. It's hard to hide it when you go doing a lap dance on camera, naked as a jaybird.

But no, those assholes don't need to curse me. I was already cursed a long time ago. And yeah... I wanted to know how much I could hurt you before you couldn't fix the damage. It's... a good thing you didn't come near me, really.

I... really don't mean the whole lust thing. I think you know better. I mean, don't talk about respect. You want to be polite, that's fine, but I'm a monster. I don't need people to look at me like someone who deserves respect that way. It's real close to talking about me deserving a good guy.

I don't. I'd hurt them. Maybe not the first day. Maybe not the first month, but eventually. I don't need respect. I need distance.