IC Inbox - Asgard Eventide

[samantha_grey]

An old, brick edifice stands in front of the burnt-down ruins of a home in the hillside. Mountains rear up in all directions, covered in lush, green vegetation. Nobody comes this way anymore, but you have the sense that anything placed in the mailbox attached to this old structure will be found by someone, the only living person for whom this place still has any meaning.

OOC: Feel free to comment here if your character wishes to get in touch with Samantha Grey directly. Let us keep any such material to PG-13 or less. If you're interested in something that should be matured tagged, contact me via PM and we can discuss it.

Comments

[zodiacal]

[THAT'S. Convoluted.] --So, what I'm getting here is your dad is actually the devil?

[Or, something like that.]

[samantha_grey]

[You have no idea.]

Oh god. He wishes. No, I've tried to research it, and I can't be sure, but he claims to be a duke in hell, and if the Lesser Key's to be believed, he's somewhere in the ranks. Valefar's not the devil, though.

He's just a glorified, ancient thief and jackass of an incubus with an obsession over my life and everything going on in it.

[Not entirely accurate, but she was his current project.]

[zodiacal]

Maybe it's his way of making up for all those lost years of child support, y'know? Can't be too sure what the currency is for assholes.

[Eve, this isn't the time to joke...........]

[samantha_grey]

[She reached up and gripped the bridge of her nose, shaking her head.]

He's got my mom's soul to torture and hang over my head, Eve. I don't think so.

Ever since that night, there's been whispers... I think they're demons he sent to try and corrupt me. They're all pretty much assholes, but Diffido's the worst, but really the thing that's sick is as far as I can tell he plans to keep bringing me back to life every time I die until I snap, go nuts and turn demon haymaker on everything that moves.

It seriously feels like he's poking me with a stick to see how long before I try to claw his face off.

[expy]

Ugh. [Scrunching her nose up a little, mostly in distaste. She's mostly picking particularly impacting bits to focus on, but...] Isn't there someone you can call to pour holy water on his crotch? Or, whatever works on your side.

[It. Works in the movies, okay. She cannot stop making jokes...]

[samantha_grey]

Believe me. elaborate plans for revenge. I have them. I'm working on them. This is interrupting them.

[She grunted and shrugged.]

Dying definitely slows the process down a little bit. I don't stay out of commission for long, but he usually brings me back the hell away from where I died, so if I was working on something there, I have to track it all down again.

[zodiacal]

And what kind of plans are those? I mean, it's the Information Age. There has to be some kind of insurance for that shit.

[Though, uh. Now that she mentions that...]

What year is it for you, actually?

You realize that I had to reread her background to remember this, yes? heh

[samantha_grey]

You know, I never actually was much for reading the paper, but I think it was 2010 or something? As for the plans, I'm still working on that, but I have to figure out how to get my soul back and kill a Duke of Hell in a way that'll stick.

I mean, how do you even do something like that? It's not like walking a nuke into Hell's a solution. I thought about that already, and there's no way in hell Charon'd let that fly.

LMAO I FEEL YOU this is why i keep a chart on gdocs

[zodiacal]

What. [FLATTEST. WHAT EVER. It's not even a question. It's just a statement that happens to be just "what".]

You're from the future. Does the underworld like to keep things prehistoric or do you just not know how to use that to your advantage?

[samantha_grey]

Pretty much pre-historic, run by magic and infernal power. You don't see lots of guns down in hell. Plenty of pitchforks though, and trees bleeding sap instead of blood.

Downright scenic.

[zodiacal]

Sounds lovely. [deadpan...] You don't suppose some rogue demon could have stored the solution to your problems on the internet, do you?

[samantha_grey]

Regina's the first demon or half demon I've ever trusted. They're prone to tricking people with crap like that. Think of the internet like one gigantic ouija board with them hiding the secrets they want there.

Besides, I've got seven who hate him whispering in my ears all the time, and it's not like they're that helpful.

[zodiacal]

Can't you use one of those things to figure it out, then? [the board, she means.] Or scrying? What magical crap even exists in your world for this?

[samantha_grey]

Ugh. I kind of suck at Divination. I'm actually really bad at that. I can do better detection on things, but I have to rely on reading people otherwise, and while I'm ok at that, it's not nearly as good as you'd think.

[zodiacal]

Great. Figures you'd suck at the thing that could help you the most, right?

[samantha_grey]

Considering that my magic's probably boosted by being a half-demon, and I'm wanting to hunt my demonic father...

You really surprised?

[zodiacal]

Actually, no. It's the oldest cliche in the book. If it happens in movies, why not in reality?

[HER TONE IS P MUCH DRIPPING IN SARCASM AND WOW DANG IT. hello my name is eve samson and my life is one bad tvtropes page.......]

[samantha_grey]

Yeah, see... my dad likes to style himself as the duke and patron of thieves, but he's not the most subtle of creatures. Who kidnaps their daughter in her dreams, steals their soul so she can resurrect her and sends a whole team of demons named after the seven deadly sins just to fuck with her?

No, seriously... who the fuck does that? I still can't figure out what the hell he's really going to accomplish with this crap, but my life's a collection of bad cliches.

[zodiacal]

You have the sins, too. Great. That's just-- great. Why don't we throw some Dante's Inferno motifs in there and make it a party? [TROPESSSSSS!!!!] Afterwards, we can just move to a faraway island somewhere and pretend this shit never happened.

[samantha_grey]

...I did mention the bleeding trees, didn't I? You know, for the suicides. Some of them, apparently, thought the Inferno was funny as hell, so they took some of the motifs.

No, seriously, a lot of those tropes are pretty much there for a reason in my world. Hell is exactly that ironic, predictable and unpleasant... only Satan's not wedged in ice and they carve their own little kingdoms down there.

[zodiacal]

More motifs. Bleeding trees you can find anywhere, you know? [no you... can't.]

Sounds gross. Remind me to never book a reservation there if I ever get sent back. I'd rather stick with the ghosts than be with a bunch of assholes who think they're ironic.

[samantha_grey]

Well... your hell's not my hell. As much as we annoy each other, I don't entirely like the idea that when this is all done we might not see each other again.

...

even if some days I really want to throttle you.

[expy]

Please, it was just a joke. I'm not sure I even have a hell. [since, u kno, the succubi are partying it up in empyreal...] But, aw. I'm flattered you care so much.

[samantha_grey]

Don't get too flattered. I'm told I've got suspect taste in friends, Eve. Heh.

[zodiacal]

Shut it. I'm the exception to the rule.